After a summer full of heat (60 days rain, 60 days sun- reminds me of the dry and rainy period in Africa), new plants in my new flat (only a cactus can survive here), frustrating jobs and even more frustrating dates – I´m glad, summer is over. You can share my enthusiasm about the final of summer and enjoy hopping into puddles with gumboots and wearing nice ponchos and bandanas and decorating your flat with halloween stuff and put a pumpkin in the oven – yes, autumn has arrived, it attires Graz with brown leaves and I love autumn 🙂 This post shouldn´t be about the seasons and moaning, but it should be a love column. Yes you read very well. My intention is to post a love column weekly on this blog, stuff from my love life, stuff from sex and the city which inspires me at the moment (I watch this for the first time after it got broadcasted 1998 – 2004, I was 7 years old and learned writing and calculating when Carrie Bradshaw and Samatha Jones talked about orgasm and stuff) or about phenomenon like „Ghosting“ or „Bread Crumbling“). The media landscape and the job market situation has changed with arrival of the internet in 1989 for commercial purpose – so has society. we live in a fast-moving world where we consume fast food, fast literature, fast relationships and fast jobs – we are unpatient and can not wait. we unlearned to wait and are annoyed if we have to wait for longer in queue of a store or are put in a wait loop on the phone (I can recommend you books about buddhism or the Dalai Lama). Because of this culture of fast food consumption of EVERYTHING and the disability of being able to wait – everything is one click away – society has changed A LOT in love matters. noone talks about it. why? all the shit I´m going through in love matters since 2013 of being single, this blog will be there for your amusement and maybe the one or other food for thought how NOT to treat people (and treat people better). Welcome and enjoy my blog. (Please don´t hesitate to post, comment or give me any feedback).
There are men I will never fall in love with. You just know. It is just the way it is.
Then there are men who hit you like a wrecking ball and you never get tired crying your eyes out for – no matter if they are ginger, 1000 miles away or stripper like Magic Mike. What is the deal with all these boys? Yes, they are fuckboys, not relation ship material (I find myself categorizing men into these 2 categories). Of course we do not wanna date fuckboys, but why are we doing that?? nasty tongues claim that this behaviour has to do with your low self-esteem. My self-esteem is very high at the moment (was not hold true like this. Let´s come from the situation you worked so hard on yourself that you, almost 30, are able to say, you have ENOUGH self-esteem, to face all men in this world). we would like to date the guy next door and introduce the „perfect“ son-in-law to our parents but in the end of the day we always land with fuck boys in bed. I can tell you why: they are badass attractive! Maybe they ride a motorbycycle or they talk the way to you, noone talked before! No matter what the reasons are, you don´t have to justify yourelf. At the end of the day you have to feel comfortable with yourself and your actions and the way you are. You are BEAUTIFUL and you deserve a special treatment. But if you are done with these fuckboys because at the end of the day they always break you heart, after which criterias are you looking out for „Mr. Right“?
I tell you something about Mr.Right. Mr. Right is probably the BIGGEST LIE of our society!!! Do you really think that beyond the 8 billion people who live on this planet – that only 1 matches with you? Throw away this thought and be aware that many tops fit one pot 😉 (hope you have that picture). Let me tell you something: No matter how inconspicuous, conservative or lanky your date is – no matter if he wears glasses, appears like a nerd and works at a biro desk – they ALL want to get into your panties. why not choose someone, who meets your criterias? here we go.
Never ever date a bodybilder!!! Did you hear me?Why? There is a rule of the thumb, nobody told you about. If he has a sixpack, he is disloyal. why? What do you think why he spends hours and hours daily in the gym, just to be in shape and pose in front of the mirror?? hell, no! He will try to get into YOUR panties and the panties of your best friend. stay away.
What is wrong about the nerd? There is nothing wrong about intellect and if you are sapiosexual like me – congrats! Of course you can talk hours and hours with him – but you must imagine him like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory (yes I dated Sheldon Cooper already). They love to talk about THEMSELVES, most of the cases they have 0 social competence and if you have really bad luck: he never kissed a girl before and if he is trying to make a move on you, he will slobber all over your face! RULE OF THUMB: If his handshake is wet, don´t even try to kiss him. Next!
There is nothing wrong about the ginger. Or? Have you heard of the saying: „Gingers have no soul?“. Well, I am still trying to clarify that saying because all the gingers I have dated (not many) – they are weird. Yeah, they got bullied a lot in their high school time because of their hair colour and even get compared with Ron Weasley from Harry Potter. The last ginger I have dated forgot to tell me, he has a girlfriend 1000 miles away. guess how I found out? He gave me his email address and I started googeling him (I google all my dates). They met at work and they live together in an appartment since 4 fucking years! She even told him, if he has a thing with another girl, she doesn´t wanna to know. Well, I would like to know! They both have no balls. STAY AWAY FROM GINGER
Oh my god, this chapter is so cliché. You know the movie „Magic Mike“? The guy I know (I was madly in love with him, at this time he had not this profession), he went to gym everday like I told you a few chapters before. He was unemployed and he couldn´t retain a work because of his work ethic or his drug problem (who cares). Instagram proposes you friend request and there I found him – Magic XXX (don´t tell his name, keeping his identity private). thing is, he found a way to earn money: he is selling his body to lonely fat women, escorting them in saloon cars when celebrating their bachelor parties. Yuck! STAY AWAY FROM STRIPPER, as long as you don´t wanna infect yourself with a STD. (that´s no fun)
Enough for now, I hope I made you laugh a lot and maybe there were some chapters where you thought: „She is totally right!“. If you like my post and wanna kept posted about my love column every monday, please SUBSCRIBE. Thank you!